Tripping Over Our Emotions: A Parenting Truth We All Face

Connections start in the calm, ordinary moments.

As you get to know me, you’ll notice that I often speak in collective terms. I have two sons, now 18 and 16, and I’ve worked with hundreds of adolescents, young adults, and their families. I believe we’re all in this together—striving to find our way, doing the best we can with the information we have, and seeking deeper, more meaningful connections within our family relationships.

A cornerstone of my work is the use of parenting reminders—simple truths that help us stay aligned with a parenting practice that decreases reactivity, increases responsiveness, and strengthens connection. One of my favorites, and one I teach often (and continually practice myself), is this:

“We need emotion to be a parent, but we trip all over ourselves when we parent with it.”

This may be one of the hardest reminders to implement. Why? Because we are emotional beings. As parents, we love our children unconditionally. We are committed to their growth, their successes, their well-being and naturally, even appropriately, we become attached to their outcomes and achievements.

In my early career, I often told parents, “We can’t attach to their outcomes; we have to let go and trust the process.” Looking back, I see how much nuance that statement really needed. Yes, there are times when we must step back, let them lead, and trust the journey. But what truly matters is understanding how we’re attached to those outcomes and discerning which parts we can control and which we can’t. That understanding is what keeps us upright in our parenting.

It’s essential that we practice this skill by; 

Some moments ask us to pause, breathe, and choose clarity over reactivity.

1. Notice when you’re caught in the emotional space that’s tripping you up.

Awareness is the first step. Without recognizing the emotional takeover, we can’t shift out of it.

2. Learn to set emotion aside—just for a moment.

This pause creates the space we need to make clear decisions and respond thoughtfully instead of reactively. Emotion tends to drive reactivity; thoughtful decisions fuel responsiveness.

3. Redirect yourself.

Steer the conversation or even your internal dialogue onto a different, calmer course—one that removes the emotional charge so a thoughtful response can emerge.

When we lead with connection, we help our kids feel safe enough to grow.

I emphasize these skills daily in my work with families, especially with parents, because they are truly skills, ones we must learn, practice, revisit, and practice again. Our love for our children is unconditional, so of course, our emotions will run high and occasionally drive us in ways that don’t serve us or them. This is why increasing your skill set in this area is so important. 

I’ll be honest, I’m not immune to parenting with emotion, sometimes more often than I’d like to admit. We all experience it. The key is to keep practicing the skill of setting the emotion aside in the moment while you remind yourself, “I will still honor the very real emotions I am having, just not right now while I am trying to parent this situation”.  This will ensure you are parenting in a way that supports clarity, connection, and growth for everyone.

Are you ready to elevate your family dynamics? Join me in strengthening your bonds and cultivating a thriving family dynamic. With Altitude Family Coaching, you’re not just seeking solutions; you’re aiming for lasting transformation! 

Reach out for a consultation call today!

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